The Lazy, Clever Programmer: A Compendium Of Code Reuse & Recycling

I started getting “serious” about development because I had a desire never to write lengthy, wandering streams of code again.  It was not for any reason but unadulterated laziness—the kind that so overpowers the better senses as to force a person to spend hours in a chair with the express goal of not spending hours in said chair.  It’s a wild, consuming laziness that seems to know no bounds.

As developers, once we start separating our code into abstract ontological typologies, we make use of the human mind’s phenomenal ability to work with types.  Our code becomes less about jump tables and registers and more about users, email messages and images.  What once was a problem of allocating resources and operations within the computer becomes an abstract, logical problem within a collection of objects.  Like children awe-struck by stories of magicians of old, speaking incantations and pressing their wishes into reality by the power of their mind alone, we become drunk with the sense of awe and possibility.

We *really* dive into things after the jump, so go ahead and hit it.

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Posted in: Articles, Development

Function References and Runtime Functions in PHP 5

Well, it’s the final hour of the final day, so it’s time for my weekly mandatory blog post. I was going to counter-rant a hack-job post and call the author a chump as much as my fingers could muster. But I was told that “Chump!” three hundred times is not a blog post. As I was thinking of other topics to write about I realized two things. First, no one cares that much about Lindsay Lohan anymore. Second, I have a hard time deciding what to do.

But it is this distinct lack of commitment that, while being so destructive to my personal relationships, has brought me into a rarely discussed nether-region of PHP functionally: function references and lambda functions. The sad thing is there isn’t really either in the language – at least not what you’re thinking of if you just read “function references” and “lambda functions” and though, “Oh yeah! Those are awesome!”. No, I’m going to talk about the dark and shameful ways in which we make do without these features in PHP. That feeling you just got? It’s called excitement. Actually, it’s probably indigestion, but get it checked out anyway. All good? Follow us after the jump for a look into the depths of PHP 5.

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Posted in: Development